Today marks one year from my cancer diagnosis.
My cancerversary.
Yes, folks, this is a real event. I am not making this up! However, there were no flowers, candy, cards, or jewelry involved, so I plan to file a formal complaint with Hallmark...
I was so very honored this day to speak at my city's Baccalaureate Ceremony for three local high schools. I am also thrilled that I have mastered the spelling of this word: B-A-C-C-A-L-A-U-R-E-A-T-E.
For those of you who could not attend, I have included a copy of my talk below:
"Good evening! I am so honored to be here tonight. I want to start by congratulating each and every one of you on the accomplishment of graduation. Anyone who tells you that high school is easy is crazy and you are to be commended for coming to this milestone of your life.
I am not a professional athlete. I am not an accomplished musician. I am not a successful businesswoman or a millionaire. I am not a “motivational speaker.” I’m not here to give you the secret to success or the secret of life. I am a girl who sat where you are now sitting just nine years ago. I was born and raised here and I went to the schools you all attended.
After graduation, I went to college, got a job in sales, and married a great guy. I had a normal life.
So, why am I here today???
One year ago today, I underwent surgery to remove what doctors thought was a cyst.
One year ago today, my doctors told me:
"You're 26. We don't have to worry about cancer.”
One year ago today, I emerged from surgery and the news was shocking—a malignant tumor.
One year ago today, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
Ovarian cancer is the deadliest gynecologic cancer and 1 in 55 women will be diagnosed with it in their lifetime. The symptoms of this cancer are non-specific or “silent” in nature and many women are not diagnosed early enough. The average age of an ovarian cancer patient is 63. I was diagnosed at 26.
After my diagnosis, tests had to be run to determine if there were still cancerous cells present in my body. We would have to wait for 48 hours for the results. The full impact of the situation did not truly hit me until the doctor came back with those results:
Cancerous cells were still present in my body.
I saw the tears in my family’s eyes and it all became very real to me. I would need to have another surgery and chemotherapy. And I would not be able to have children. This hurt me more than ever. All I could think of was how unfair it was to my husband that I had suddenly ruined things for him and cheated our parents out of being grandparents.
I also knew then that I had a long road ahead of me.
The day that I was diagnosed, my family compiled a letter explaining my diagnosis. The letter was sent out and circulated via email and it was written to keep our friends and other family members informed of what was happening. When I got out of the hospital after my first surgery, I decided to write a quick email to update everyone further and to thank those who had sent flowers, visited, called and emailed us.
Houston, Texas became my home away from home as I started my treatment at MD Anderson Cancer Center. I had a full hysterectomy less than a month after my diagnosis and first surgery. The next step was a series of chemotherapy treatments. I knew that I would be losing my hair, so I cut most of it off and donated it to Locks of Love. A week or so later, I started chemo.
Everything was certainly compounded by my extreme fear of needles. I would joke with the doctors and nurses that I was allergic to needles! What I was allergic to was the chemo itself. During my first treatment, I had a bad reaction—my body became flushed and my throat closed up. It was a very scary experience. Because of this allergy, my chemo treatments were each 9-10 hours long.
After that first treatment, I was told that I would start losing my hair after about a week or two. It started falling out after about 10 days later on our 3rd wedding anniversary. A week after that, it was all gone.
It’s hard to lose all your hair when you’re a girl! I actually went nearly 2 weeks without even looking at my bald head in the mirror. For a brief moment, I really thought that maybe I could go the whole time without having to see myself this way. But, sometimes courage comes in bursts and eventually I realized that I could not hide from mirrors forever. I cried as I looked at my reflection and worried about how my husband would be able to look at me in this terrible state. I remember times when I would be struggling with hairstyles and he would proclaim that he would love me even if I was bald—but could he handle this??
What’s more, my eyebrows and eyelashes also fell out completely. Most people don’t think about this, but it was a big deal to me. One of the worst pranks of all time is when someone gets their eyebrows shaved off and I certainly know why! You look quite strange!
But, I became quite skilled at gluing on eyelashes, drawing on eyebrows and shopping for wigs on the internet. And my dear, sweet husband never once made me feel uncomfortable—I am so very lucky to have this wonderful man in my life who loves me and puts up all this drama!!
While at home after my first chemo treatment, I received a package from a friend. It was a beautiful silver bracelet with a verse from Hebrews: “Never will I leave or forsake you.” Remembering this passage brought me courage when I needed it and strength when going through hard times.
I continued to write email updates and my Mom would send them out. I couldn’t believe the responses we started to get and the requests from others to be added to our email list. I also started to find that it helped to write about my experiences and feelings. I decided to continue writing about my experiences and to ‘put it all out there,’ sharing my journey with anyone who was interested. I didn’t really think that more than a handful of people would actually be interested, but I was surprised at how the audience grew.
I wanted to assure anyone that read my updates that I had faith that God would walk beside me and carry my family through this ordeal. I wanted to keep others from worrying about me. I wanted to let them know that I was not afraid and that God was in control. I knew that God would never give me anything that I couldn’t handle. I also was beginning to understand why he made me so hard-headed!!
My family, friends, and our communities continued to rally around us. By this time, my email list had grown to over 400 addresses, I started posting the updates on my MySpace page to cut down the list some. I now have my own website called wordsofaheather.com where all the posts from this time are stored and where I continue to write about my life.
I went through 5 months of chemotherapy. My last chemo treatment was on October 13th, just 2 days before my 27th birthday. I was so thankful to be finished, but I was also so surprised at how quickly it seemed to have gone by. I would have to wait over a month to go back to MD Anderson for testing to verify if the chemo had done its job.
On November 16th, we returned to MD Anderson and received the news that I am cancer-free!
We were so blessed to have full support of this wonderful community. I have such a full life ahead of me and I thank God for that. Jared and I hope to adopt and start a family sometime in the near future. I also look forward to giving back by supporting others diagnosed with cancer.
Luke 13:6-13 tells the parable of the barren fig tree in a vineyard. This tree had been growing up for three years and had produced no fruit. The landowner came and saw that the tree was barren and ordered it to be cut down. The vineyard keeper’s response was to keep the tree and cover it with manure so it would bear fruit.
Now, I interpret this parable two different ways: The first interpretation is that you should feed and nurture your faith so that you will have the fruits of the spirit present in your life. The second interpretation is that sometimes you have to deal with manure in order to flourish, realize your blessings and ultimately strengthen your relationship with God!
When all this began, a fellow cancer-survivor told me that I would eventually look back and thank God for my cancer diagnosis. I didn't understand it at the time, but I now agree that even though the things that happened to me were bad, this whole experience was a good and positive one. I learned so much about the lengths my family, my friends, and my community would go to help. I learned alot about myself. I learned that attitude is important when faced with any kind of adversity. But, a key factor in that positive attitude is your support system and your faith in God.
I am not a movie star or a professional athlete. I am not a millionaire or even a preacher. I’m a 27-year-old who has fought and beat ovarian cancer and I have learned some things that I would like to share with you:
*Stay positive. Your attitude makes all the difference in where you will go in life. Focus on the positive in every situation and never dwell on the negative. Holding on to negative thoughts will only make a problem grow larger. Realize your blessings and thank God for them every day.
*Always do your very best in everything you do and go above and beyond what is required of you. At 211º, water is very hot. But at 212º, it boils. And boiling water can power a steam engine! Make sure you add that extra degree, that extra effort in anything you do. The results will amaze you.
*PRAY—pray for guidance, pray for strength, pray for courage, pray for others, pray for yourself. Just talk to God. If you kneel before God, you can stand before anything!!
Be mindful of your actions—thoughts, words, and deeds. Practice makes perfect, so be careful of what you practice! Be kind to others. Think good thoughts, say good words, and do good things whenever possible.
*Always remember that God has a plan for you and never will he leave or forsake you. Don’t pray for tasks equal to your strengths, but pray for strength equal to your tasks!
*Thank God for your blessings in life. It’s not that we need more to be thankful for, we just need to be more thankful!! In addition, it is so important that we share our blessings with others and pass them on when we can. Never pass up an opportunity to help someone in need.
*Do not be discouraged by obstacles. Realize that they are opportunities for growth and strength. God will NEVER give you a problem that you cannot handle. But this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ask for help when you need it! Rely on your family, your friends, your community, even strangers to lend a hand when you are in trouble.
*Have faith that God has a plan for you. This faith will not prevent the hard times, but it will get you through them!
*In every situation, keep a sense of humor. Laughter is good for the soul. Enough said.
*You WILL make mistakes. But, do not be discouraged by failure. Learn from these mistakes and remember your failures, but do not dwell on them.
*Be bold and be deliberate. Think first, but take action, since actions speak louder than words. When you see someone that needs help, be the one to help them. When there is something to be done, be the first to volunteer to do it. Provide encouragement for those in need when it is most needed. There is a Latin Proverb that says: “When there is no wind, row.” Take action! Become involved and make things better!
The challenges that I have faced have strengthened my faith and reminded me of my many blessings. But more so, I have learned about the impact of sharing my faith with others. Regardless of who you are, regardless of where you are going or where you have been—it is important that you remember that you DO make an IMPACT on the world around you. Whether you realize it or not, people DO listen to you and people DO learn from your actions. Make ‘em count!!
In the card game, Texas Hold ‘Em, there is a particular hand called the Doyle Brunson. Named after a famed poker player, this hand is regarded as a terrible hand with weak cards, a 10 and a 2. However, Mr. Brunson has managed to win 2 huge championships with this “weak” hand!
We are all dealt different “cards” in life. Sometimes we get aces. Sometimes we get jokers. Sometimes we get a 10 and a 2… But regardless of what we get, we must realize that God has a plan for us. And although things might seem bad at times, the “bad cards” we are dealt will actually come together to make a winning hand!
Class of 2007, I want to again congratulate you. I know that your life might not always be easy, but remember that God has a plan for your life. May God bless you so richly as your begin this next phase of your life!
Thank you."
love&blessings,
heather
